I couldn’t think of anywhere to put these, so I’ll just plop them here. I’ve seen one other copy on the net elsewhere, which was mostly correct, but these should be as accurate as can be. I’ve color-coded them, mainly because I find labeling more annoying.
EDIT: I’ve just updated the lyrics with the official titles.
Act I
My Freeze Ray
Laundry day, see you there
Under things tumbling
Wanna say “love your hair”
Here I go, mumbling
With my freeze ray I will stop the world
With my freeze ray I will find the time to find the words to…
Tell you how, how you make
Make me feel – what’s the phrase?
Like a fool, kinda sick
Special needs; anyways
With my freeze ray I will stop the pain
It’s not a death ray or an ice beam
That’s all Johnny Snow
I just think you need time to know
That I’m the guy who’d make it real
The feelings you don’t dare to feel
I’ll bend the world to our will
And we’ll make time stand still
That’s the plan: rule the world
You and me, any day
Love your hair
What?
No…I, uh, love the air
Anyway
With my freeze ray I will stop–
Bad Horse Chorus
Bad horse, bad horse
Bad horse, bad horse
He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin
He got the application that you just sent in
It needs evaluation, so let the games begin
A heinous crime, a show of force
A murder would be nice, of course
Bad horse, bad horse
Bad horse, he’s bad!
The Evil League of Evil is watching, so beware
The grade that you receive will be your last we swear
So make the Bad Horse gleeful or he’ll make you his mare
You’re saddled up, there’s no recourse
It’s hi-ho, Silver! Signed Bad Horse
Caring Hands
Will you lend a caring hand
To shelter those who need it?
Only have to sign your name,
Don’t even have to read it.
Would you help?
No? How ’bout you?
A Man’s Gotta Do
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
Don’t plan the plan if you can’t follow through
All that matters’s taking matters into your own hands
Soon I’ll control everything, my wish is your command
Stand back everyone, nothin’ here to see
Just imminent danger and in the middle of it – me
Yes, Captain Hammer’s here, hair blowing in the breeze
The day needs my saving expertise
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
Seems destiny ends with me saving you
The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death
So I’ll give you a second to catch your breath
Thank you, Hammerman, I don’t think I can
Explain how important it was that you stopped the van
I would be splattered, I’d be crushed under debris
Thank you, sir, for saving me
Don’t worry about it
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
You came from above
Are you kidding?
Seems destiny ends with me saving you
What heist were you watching?
I wonder what you’re captain of…
Stop looking at her like that!
When you’re the best you can’t rest, what’s the use?
Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?
My heart is beating like a drum
If ass needs kicking, some ticking bomb to defuse
I stopped the van. The remote control was in my hands!
Must… Must be in shock…
The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death
Assuming I’m not loving you to death
Whatever!
So please give me a second to catch my breath
Please give me a second to catch my breath
Balls!
Act II
My Eyes
Any dolt with half a brain
Could see that human kind has gone insane
To the point where I don’t know if I’ll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the water main
Listen close to everybody’s heart
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
And crashing to the ground
I cannot believe my eyes
How the world’s filled with filth and lies
But it’s plain to see
Evil inside of me is on the rise
Look around; we’re living with the lost and found.
Just when you feel you’ve almost drowned
You find yourself on solid ground
And you believe there’s good in everybody’s heart
Keep it safe and sound
With hope, you can do your part
To turn a life around
I cannot believe my eyes
Is the world finally growing wise?
‘Cause it seems to me
Some kind of harmony is on the rise
Anyone with half a brain
Take it slow; he looks at me and seems to know
Would spend their whole life howling in pain
The things that I’m afraid to show
There’s darkness everywhere
And Penny doesn’t seem to care
And suddenly I feel this glow
That soon the dark in me is all that will remain
And I believe there’s good in everybody’s heart
Listen close to everybody’s heart
Keep it safe and sound
And hear that breaking sound
With hope, you can do your part
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
To turn a life around
And crashing to the ground
I cannot believe my eyes
I cannot believe my eyes
How the world’s filled with filth and lies
How the world’s finally growing wise
But it’s plain to see
And it’s plain to see
Evil inside of me is on the rise
Rapture inside of me is on the rise
Bad Horse Chorus (Reprise)
He saw the operation
You tried to pull today
But your humiliation
Means he still votes “neigh”
And now assassination
Is just the only way
There will be blood
It might be yours
So go kill someone
Signed Bad Horse
Penny’s Song
Here’s a story of a girl
Who grew up lost and lonely
Thinkin’ love was fairy tale
And trouble was made only for me
Even in the darkness
Every color can be found
And every day a rain brings water flowing
To things growing in the ground
Grief replaced with pity
For a city barely coping
Dreams are easy to achieve
Hope is all I’m hoping to be
Any time you hurt
There’s one who has it worse around
And every drop of rain will keep you growing
Seeds your sowing in the ground
So keep your head up, Billy buddy
Brand New Day
This appeared as a moral dilemma
‘Cause at first it was weird
Though I swore to eliminate
The worst of the plague
That devoured humanity
It’s true, I was vague
Well then how can it be that you
Have shown me the light?
It’s a brand new day
And the sun is high
All the birds are singing
That you’re gonna die
How I hesitated
Now I wonder why?
It’s a brand new day
All the times that you beat me unconscious
I’ll forgive
All the crimes incomplete
Listen, honestly, I’ll live
Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-It-All is through
Now the future’s so bright
And I owe it all to you
Show me the light
It’s a brand new me
I got no remorse
Now the water’s rising
But I know the course
I’m gonna shock the world
Gonna show Bad Horse
It’s a brand new day
And Penny will see the evil me
Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure
And she may cry, but her tears will dryh
When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia
It’s a brand new day
And the sun is high
All the angels sing
Because you’re gonna die
Go ahead and laugh
Yeah, I’m a funny guy
Tell everyone goodbye
It’s a brand new day
Act III
So They Say
So they say Captain Hammer’s
Become a crusader, political
He’s cleaning up the streets
About time!
So they say that it’s real love
So romantic!
He signed this!
So they say we’ll have blankets and beds
We can open by Monday, thanks to you
Thanks to me!
It’s the perfect story, so they say
A hero leading the way
Hammer’s call to glory
Let’s all be our best
Next up: who’s gay?
So they say he saved her life
They say she works with the homeless
And doesn’t eat meat
We have a problem with her!
This is his hair!
This is so nice
I just might sleep with the same girl twice
They say it’s better the second time
They say you get to do the weird stuff
We’d do the weird stuff!
This is perfect for me, so they say
I guess he’s pretty okay
After years of stormy sailing
Have I finally found the bay?
There’s no happy ending, so they say
There’s no happy ending, so they say
Not for me, anyway
Should I stop pretending
Stop pretending
Take a chance to build a brand new day
Or is this a brand new day?
This is his dry cleaning bill!
Four sweater vests!
Everyone’s a Hero
It may not feel too classy
Begging just to eat
But you know who does that?
Lassie! And she always gets a treat
So you wonder what your part is
‘Cause you’re homeless and depressed
Home is where the heart is
So your real home’s in your chest
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
Everyone’s got villains they must face
They’re not as cool as mine
But, folks, you know it’s fine
To know your place
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
In their own, not that heroic, way
So I thank my girlfriend, Penny
Yeah, we totally had sex
She showed me there’s so many
Different muscles I can flex
There’s the deltoids of compassion
There’s the abs of being kind
It’s not enough to bash in heads
You’ve got to bash in minds
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
Everyone’s got something they can do
Get up, go out, and fly
Especially that guy – he smells like poo
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
You and you, and mostly me, and you
I’m poverty’s new sheriff
And I’m bashing in the slums
A hero doesn’t care if you’re
A bunch of scary alcoholic bums
Everybody!
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
(We’re heroes, too)
Everyone can blaze a hero’s trail
(We’re just like you!)
Don’t worry if it’s hard
If you’re not a friggin’ tard
You will prevail!
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
(We’re heroes, too)
Everyone’s a hero in their–
Slipping
Look at these people
Amazing how sheeple
Show up for the slaughter
No one condemning
You line up like lemmings
You led to the water
Why can’t they see what I see?
Why can’t they hear the lies?
Maybe the fee’s too pricy
For them to realize
Your disguise is slipping
I think you’re slipping
Now that your savior
Is still as the grave
You’re beginning to fear me
Like cavemen fear thunder
I still have to wonder
Can you really hear me?
I bring you pain
The kind you can’t suffer quietly
Fire up your brain
Remind you inside you’re rioting
Society is slipping
Everything’s slipping away, so
Go ahead, run away!
Say it was horrible
Spread the word, tell a friend!
Tell them the tale
Get a pic, do a blog!
Heroes are over with
Look at him – not a word!
Hammer, meet nail!
Then I win
Then I get everything I ever
All the cash, all the fame!
And social change
Anarchy that I run
It’s Dr. Horrible’s turn
You people all have to learn
This world is going to burn, burn!
Eh, it’s two “r”s; H-O-R-R-I-B-L–
Burn!
No sign of Penny; good
I would give anything
Not to have her see
It’s gonna be bloody
Head up Billy buddy
There’s no time for mercy
Here goes no mercy!
Everything You Ever
Here lies everything
The world I wanted at my feet
My victory is complete
So hail to the king
(Everything you ever)
Arise and see
So your world’s benign
So you think justice has a voice
And we all have a choice
Now your world is mine
(Everything you ever)
And I am fine
Now the nightmare’s real
Now Dr. Horrible is here
To make you quake with fear
To make the whole world kneel
(Everything you ever)
And I won’t feel a thing